Post by Poppits on Jul 7, 2005 14:55:57 GMT -5
Note: I posted this in the maddox forum, thinking that it would be the opertune spot to rave about things: www.maddoxmania.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=17477
here is the entire thing i wrote:
Let me just state one thing right now, Bam Margera is the worst thing to happen to America since sliced bread. (The bread doomed our youth, and poisoned the wells.)
After viewing Bam's TV show Viva La Bam! (Nice use of Spanish and and exclamation point by the way) I have come to the conclusion that Bam is a fake, a phony, and a dipshit. Bam's "show" can be summed up in three words: Scripted, "reality" bullshit.
Here is an example of an entire plot line of a viva la bam episode, and yes they have plot lines because this show is the most scripted show there is:
Bam: "I found a cannonball in the middle of nowhere, lets go find out if its a real cannonball or not!"
Cannonball Authenticator: "It's god damn real alright, because if anyone would know what a real cannonball looks like, it would be me."
Bam: "Hey, do you have any cannons that we can shoot this big ass thing out of?"
Cannonball Authenticator: "I doubt we do, but let me check... Oh my god, I don't believe it, we have one!"
Bam: "I'll take it." (Notice how a price was never set on this cannon)
**Note: the setting now changes to Bam's house.**
Bam: "We should re-create the civil war and really put this cannonball to good use!"
Random Dumbass: "Hells yes, I'll call the local civil war recreators!"
**Note: the "Civil war recreators" now show up to Bam's house**
Civil war dipshit: Let's get this battle started!
**Note: The "Civil war recreators" now get the "battle started"**
Bam: "Hey Don Vito, this is a war, and your fat, there aren't fat people in war, get out of here fatboy!"
Don Vito: "Hey bam, thisss is ja mumja pumbja, and I am the only reason anyone even watches this show, if it wasn't for me, you'd be stuck without anyone to make fun of." (I added a little dialogue)
Bam: "Fiddlesticks this, let's fire that god damn cannonball!"
**Note: Bam now fires the cannonball, and by some odd chance, it hits his "treetop casino"**
Bam: "Oh shit, on a 1000000000000:1 shot, this cannonball hit my treetop casino, when it should've hit those civil war idiots, and it should have killed them all"
Random Dumbass: "Oh my god bam, your retarted"
**Note: everyone laughs, and the screen fades out to black**
The end.
That is a real episode, summed up in a few lines to be made easily viewed. I have an idea for bam to use for his next show:
Get a baseball bat and smash the hell out of Don Vito until he dies. Then, you can run an entire season about planning for some diabolical "Bad ass" funeral for him, complete with the usual random live bands that show up on the show. Ex. Slayer. Then, you can open up the casket and have Don Vito jump out and scare every body because he wasn't really dead, even though we were all fooled into believing that we witnessed a first degree murder on cable television. Bam's mom (having witnessed the newly "revived" Don Vito) then proceeds to scold Bam for being such a bad kid, even though he basically provides for his entire family.
In conclusion, Viva La Bam! writers, I am open for writing your episodes for me, but please find some better actors, I refuse to work with the likes of April Margera, what a disgrace she is.
here is the entire thing i wrote:
Let me just state one thing right now, Bam Margera is the worst thing to happen to America since sliced bread. (The bread doomed our youth, and poisoned the wells.)
After viewing Bam's TV show Viva La Bam! (Nice use of Spanish and and exclamation point by the way) I have come to the conclusion that Bam is a fake, a phony, and a dipshit. Bam's "show" can be summed up in three words: Scripted, "reality" bullshit.
Here is an example of an entire plot line of a viva la bam episode, and yes they have plot lines because this show is the most scripted show there is:
Bam: "I found a cannonball in the middle of nowhere, lets go find out if its a real cannonball or not!"
Cannonball Authenticator: "It's god damn real alright, because if anyone would know what a real cannonball looks like, it would be me."
Bam: "Hey, do you have any cannons that we can shoot this big ass thing out of?"
Cannonball Authenticator: "I doubt we do, but let me check... Oh my god, I don't believe it, we have one!"
Bam: "I'll take it." (Notice how a price was never set on this cannon)
**Note: the setting now changes to Bam's house.**
Bam: "We should re-create the civil war and really put this cannonball to good use!"
Random Dumbass: "Hells yes, I'll call the local civil war recreators!"
**Note: the "Civil war recreators" now show up to Bam's house**
Civil war dipshit: Let's get this battle started!
**Note: The "Civil war recreators" now get the "battle started"**
Bam: "Hey Don Vito, this is a war, and your fat, there aren't fat people in war, get out of here fatboy!"
Don Vito: "Hey bam, thisss is ja mumja pumbja, and I am the only reason anyone even watches this show, if it wasn't for me, you'd be stuck without anyone to make fun of." (I added a little dialogue)
Bam: "Fiddlesticks this, let's fire that god damn cannonball!"
**Note: Bam now fires the cannonball, and by some odd chance, it hits his "treetop casino"**
Bam: "Oh shit, on a 1000000000000:1 shot, this cannonball hit my treetop casino, when it should've hit those civil war idiots, and it should have killed them all"
Random Dumbass: "Oh my god bam, your retarted"
**Note: everyone laughs, and the screen fades out to black**
The end.
That is a real episode, summed up in a few lines to be made easily viewed. I have an idea for bam to use for his next show:
Get a baseball bat and smash the hell out of Don Vito until he dies. Then, you can run an entire season about planning for some diabolical "Bad ass" funeral for him, complete with the usual random live bands that show up on the show. Ex. Slayer. Then, you can open up the casket and have Don Vito jump out and scare every body because he wasn't really dead, even though we were all fooled into believing that we witnessed a first degree murder on cable television. Bam's mom (having witnessed the newly "revived" Don Vito) then proceeds to scold Bam for being such a bad kid, even though he basically provides for his entire family.
In conclusion, Viva La Bam! writers, I am open for writing your episodes for me, but please find some better actors, I refuse to work with the likes of April Margera, what a disgrace she is.
